Here's how to tell if what you're about to let slip is safe to share, or better off kept to yourself. Discussions around money, sex, in-laws, substance abuse, and cheating should be kept private unless your partner says otherwise. Sometimes, your partner may explicitly say they don't want you to share a specific thought or detail they divulged to you.
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In those cases, it's obvious that you shouldn't tell your friends or family, no matter how close you are. In most cases though, deciding whether a topic is off-limits for sharing isn't so cut-and-dry. According to Tribeca Therapy therapist Kelly Scott, it all boils down to having compassion for your partner's situation, whatever that might be. If you're reluctant to share because the idea of doing so brings up shame, it's a sign you shouldn't be discussing that information outside of your relationship.
Typically, discussions around money , sex, in-laws, substance abuse, and cheating should be kept private unless your partner says otherwise, Scott said.
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If you're unsure whether it's alright to share with friends, you should ask your partner first or simply refrain, she added. Read more: The 5 steps all couples need to take if they want to repair their relationship after cheating. If you don't exercise caution, it could make your partner feel like they can't trust you, and trust is essential for a healthy and happy relationship. Consider how your friends' knowledge of those details could change their perspective of your partner.
We might have a not-even-a-problem-problem, like spilling a drop of water when making a cup of tea, and suddenly find ourselves in floods of tears. Sometimes we can cry at quite literally nothing. There are times when we might just be getting on with life, and all of a sudden a tsunami of tears hits us and we need half a box of tissues to mop it up. Often this need to cry is a result of anxiety building up.
When we are particularly anxious, the level of adrenaline running through our body increases. This can cause our mind and body to run more quickly than normal. Because our minds are racing, we might find that we start walking fast, talking speedily, and doing everything super quickly. Sometimes we can become so anxious that we feel physically trapped in one place.
It could be something like a bus or a train.
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This can lead to us missing our stop and ending up somewhere completely different from where we intended to go. Not only is this inconvenient, but it can also increase our anxiety for the next time we need to travel. This can feed into our feelings of being trapped in one place because it can reach the point where we feel unable to use any forms of transport at all.
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It could also be at work, in our car, in a public toilet, or somewhere else entirely. This can increase our anxiety around going back there in future, all of which can lead to us feeling less and less able to go to places, and becoming more isolated and trapped in our house or flat.
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Anxiety can cause us to harm ourselves, sometimes without realising. This can include things like skin picking, skin rubbing, hair pulling, nail biting, or something else. It can also be painful. Once we are aware of it, there are ways that we can distract ourselves or other coping mechanisms that we can use. But it is possible, and there are people who can help us. Living with persistent headaches can negatively impact our mental health, and our mental health can cause us to have persistent headaches.
When muscles are tense for a while, they become painful and ache-y. It consumes energy. The less energy you have, the harder it is to tackle a major goal. With all that going on, how could you have the energy to pursue something on top of all that? If you want to properly manage your energy, you need to understand this:.
People get drained because they bow to the altar of productivity and try to get everything done. Instead, focus on putting your energy into the things that matter most in your life, let everything else be secondary, and be willing to let some things fall to the wayside. After four and a half years of work, I quit my job and became a full-time writer. Prior to that, I had to write on the side while doing my 9 to 5. I wrote in the mornings.
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Not because I wanted to have a morning routine. Who wants to wake up early? Psychos and readers of The Miracle Morning. I wrote in the mornings because I understood how my energy worked. My day job as a marketing director required equal parts deep work with creative thinking and petty managerial tasks. My writing involved deep work too. I knew the first 3—5 hours of the day had to be dedicated to deep work because my engine stops working after that.
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Not because I look down on people who do, but because those foods made me feel sluggish and useless in the afternoon. I worked out for about 3 days per week. This gave me energy for my family afterwards and my off days gave me time to heal. See how this all works?
How you use those habits to direct your energy to a goal or mission is everything. Think about your life. Where are you needlessly spending energy? How could restructuring your life help you move closer to the life you want? You feel this way because you let petty annoyances, trivial errands, and other random dumb shit sap your energy.
There are a lot of them. The more you say no, the more you put blinders on, the more energy you have to focus on your mission. At times I almost became a recluse focused on writing and never did things like go out for drinks on the weekends. Regardless, focusing on my mission above everything else did help me avoid energy-sucking activities.